I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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