I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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