Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
