tell your sister to shave her snatch
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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