I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
zippers are such a cool invention
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
