my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
