Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
