in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
