if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
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I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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