I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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