Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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