My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
