I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
