she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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