You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
