the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
