ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
