I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
