oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
