And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
