so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
