why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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