I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
