Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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