YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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