My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize