We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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