His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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