This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
