I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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