Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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