She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize