ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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