Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
