But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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