Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
