And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
