After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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