Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
