I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize