You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
