Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
