i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
