Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
