How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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