I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
