Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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