just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
