i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
