So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
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Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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