She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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