Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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