I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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