but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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