well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
