i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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