its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
