..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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