Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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