my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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