he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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