accomplished twins. life is a go
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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