I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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