found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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