i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
