In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
