no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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