You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
