Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
