just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
