ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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